Five Things That Never Happened to Setsuka
by Elf Asato
Summary: Implied SeiSub, incest, and a brief crossover with Yami no Matsuei in the last chapter. See title for summary.
1. One

**Title:** Five Things That Never Happened to Sakurazuka Setsuka  
**Author:** Elf Asato  
**Written:** 10/20/05  
**Summary:** Non-canon incest.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine whatsoever.  
**Notes:** Written for the "Five things that never happened to..." challenge on the Togakushishrine community at Livejournal. 

**Five Things That Never Happened to Sakurazuka Setsuka**  
One  
_By Elf Asato_

  
In the sixties, Setsuka usually went to school on time and without frequent absence, unlike how she had operated in her early, pre-teenage years, and this was largely due to her grandfather's influence. 

She lived with her mother in her earlier years, fatherless, for the most part, with the exceptional male or two who desired her mother so much that he was willing to care for Setsuka as well. Naturally rebellious, Setsuka hated this and went out of her way to become a problem child until the day came when her mother, a troubled woman, committed suicide; after that, she was sent to live with her grandfather where she more or less became a _young woman_ rather than a rebellious pre-teen. Born at the turn of the century with a strict yet warm disposition, he only allowed Setsuka to miss school for illness or a special occasion.

He told her to stay home from school one morning in April, and since she knew she wasn't sick, it must have been a special occasion. Still in her nightgown, she watched him prepare to leave.

"My dearest Setsuka," he asked as he grabbed a coat he had set aside on a table and began to put it on, "do you know what today is?"

"Ummm, Thursday?" she replied with a finger coyly placed on her chin.

He smiled. "Yes, it is indeed Thursday, but it is also another day. Can you guess what it is?"

With a youthful and girlish smile deliberately set in place for the sole pleasure of the elderly man before her, she opened her mouth for a few seconds as if she'd respond with something meaningful, but in the end she simply shook her head and said, "No, grandfather. Is it a special day?"

"It's a very special day for us, Setsuka," he said as he crossed little distance to cup her chin with his wrinkled and worn hands, bringing it up slightly so that she could look at him directly, "for it is the day that you kill me and become the new heir to the Sakura."

Her eyes opened wide with an almost childish excitement. "Really?"

"Yes, my dear," he confirmed as he stroked her hair, "and words cannot express how much I have been waiting for this...from the moment you came to me, Setsuka. I have been training you since then for this. Are you as happy as I am? It is truly a wonderful day for us, and I want it to be the best in my life."

She leaned up enthusiastically to plant an intimate kiss on his lips. "It must be so wonderful to know that you'll be killed by the one you love! What glory! I'll be so thrilled when it happens to me, grandfather!"

"...Which is why you must take extra care to see to it that you do not die before then. You know this, Setsuka? That whoever kills you will be the one to receive the Sakura? An unworthy successor would be simply unacceptable. Do you understand this?"

"Yes, yes," she sighed almost drearily, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "You've taught me this before - and well. Must you ruin our wonderful day with such droll talk?"

He only chuckled and gave her a more _thorough_ kiss, his hands wandering to touch her body through the thin fabric of her nightgown; he knew she enjoyed being touched by him, though he would never know that she found his age slightly repulsive and liked it when the younger boys touched her instead. "My darling Setsuka," he said finally with a smile as he broke from her and went about putting on his shoes at the door, "forever you'll remain a young girl like this, won't you?"

"Of course! And...where are you going, grandfather, if I may ask?" she asked, swaying coyly for his amusement.

"Since it is my last day alive, I thought I would indulge in a little amusement - for old times sake, darling."

"Ohhh," she said with a knowing smirk, "going to toy with the Sumeragi clan again, are you? Well, don't underestimate their new clan head just because she's a woman, all right? She's likely to still be angry at you for killing her husband last year, and...oh how does it go? 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'? Anyway, just be careful, please."

He only chuckled in response and opened the door to leave.

"I'll have your favorite meal ready when you get back, grandfather."

"Thank you, Setsuka," he said and closed the door.

Setsuka's grandfather was killed that afternoon in a duel with Lady Sumeragi.


	2. Two

**Title:** Five Things That Never Happened to Sakurazuka Setsuka  
**Author:** Elf Asato  
**Written:** 10/20/05  
**Summary:** Canon incest.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine whatsoever, and neither is the song.  
**Notes:** Written for the "Five things that never happened to..." challenge on the Togakushishrine community at Livejournal. The italics at the end are from an actual song, though so many artists have done it that I don't even know who it belongs to. You can google the lyrics for some mind-bending fun, though. 

**Five Things That Never Happened to Sakurazuka Setsuka**  
Two  
_By Elf Asato_

  
"You're not sick, are you?" Seishirou asked, sitting on the floor at a low table in the main living area, as his mother walked into the house.

Setsuka sat next to her son on the floor, hugging him as she leaned over and saw what he was working on. "Oh, are you doing homework? What subject is that?"

"Anatomy," he answered simply.

She gave a wry smile as she poked him in the side playfully and said, "Ohhh, I know you like _that_. ...Did you need me to _help_?"

It was hard for Seishirou to stifle a smirk. "Not right now," he said, "...maybe later."

Setsuka giggled a little and rest her head on his shoulder.

"...You didn't answer my question from before," Seishirou said after a few moments of silence.

"And what question was that?"

"Did the doctor say what was wrong with you?"

She made a face. "No, no, there's nothing wrong with me."

Seishirou never looked up from his homework. "Then did he explain why you haven't been feeling well lately?"

"_Well_," she began playfully, then leaned in so that her lips grazed his ear, "..._I'm pregnant._" Immediately she sat up and giggled like a much younger girl, beaming. "Isn't that _crazy_ - think about it, you'll be a _father_, and I'll be a mother again! And I love you so much, unlike _your_ father, so I actually want us to stay together for this, and maybe you'll fall just as in love with these kids as I did you! I can't imagine anything greater - and eventually you'll kill me, too, and _oh_ Seishirou! I'm so excited for us!" Setsuka clapped her hands together and giggled again with giddy delight. "I mean," she went on, "I've even thought of names for our kids - I _did_ mention that the doctor said I was having twins, right? - and I _really_ want a boy and girl. I'd really like a constellation theme for all my kids, too, and on the way home I was thinking of _the_ perfect names for them. What do you think about Subaru and, well, I haven't really gotten to the girl's name yet, but what do you think, Seishirou? ..._Seishirou_?"

Seishirou's mind was a total blank, save for a curious song running through his head.

_...It sounds funny I know, but it really is so. Oh, I'm my own grandpa._


	3. Three

**Title:** Five Things That Never Happened to Sakurazuka Setsuka  
**Author:** Elf Asato  
**Written:** 10/20/05  
**Summary:** Setsuka and Seishirou.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine whatsoever.  
**Notes:** Written for the "Five things that never happened to..." challenge on the Togakushishrine community at Livejournal. 

**Five Things That Never Happened to Sakurazuka Setsuka**  
Three  
_By Elf Asato_

  
"You know," Setsuka said to Seishirou as she sat in the backyard with him, idly toying with a sakura petal, "I don't think I want to be the Sakurazukamori anymore."

"Oh?" Seishirou asked with marked interest, acting the part of her lawn chair as she leaned against him, "Did you want me to kill you today?"

She shook her head. "Oh no, no, I didn't mean like that, though I _do_ want you to be the new one soon. ...Instead of the _Sakura_zukamori...I want to be the _Tsubaki_zukamori! I mean, think about it, Seishirou. We could be a mother-son team of assassins! You can be the Sakurazukamori, and I'll be the Tsubakizukamori! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Er...I don't think it works that way, mother..."


	4. Four

**Title:** Five Things That Never Happened to Sakurazuka Setsuka  
**Author:** Elf Asato  
**Written:** 10/20/05  
**Summary:** Setsuka and Seishirou.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine whatsoever.  
**Notes:** Written for the "Five things that never happened to..." challenge on the Togakushishrine community at Livejournal. 

**Five Things That Never Happened to Sakurazuka Setsuka**  
Four  
_By Elf Asato_

  
Seishirou stared up at the ceiling having just woken up from a strangely comforting and hopefully prophetic dream concerning a certain onmyouji and a bridge; at the moment he was reviewing his life.

Before he became the Sakurazukamori, he always thought his mother was nuts. She'd tell him that the _Tree_ always spoke to her and advised her through life. That part Seishirou believed, but what he didn't believe was that the Tree had actual, _intelligent_ conversations with her. She told him that the Tree would converse with her over the importance of paper over plastic and recycling, and once she even said that the Tree gave her a really good okra recipe.

She was beautiful and fun, he always knew, but absolutely nuts. Or, that is to say, he _thought_ he knew she was nuts...until the day came when _he_ became the Sakurazukamori.

_Don't you think you've spent enough time in bed? Shake a tail feather, Seishirou! You have a busy day today._

Seishirou sighed but got up, rubbing his temples as he went into the kitchen area to make coffee.

_Oh sweetie how many times do I have to tell you not to use decaf? What's the point in drinking coffee if you drink _that_? Why don't you buy an expresso machine today while you're out?_

"Because hopefully I won't be alive for tomorrow morning," he murmured.

_Well, get it for that cute onmyouji boy, then! He certainly needs some caffeine in his life._

"He's rather serious about his work, so I think he tends to avoid caffeine, alchohol...things like that."

_...Well he _shouldn't_. Caffeine and alchohol are wonderful things._

"Yes they are."

_Wait, doesn't he smoke?_

"Yes."

_Then why does he swear off alchohol, at least? Smoking is worse than drinking._

"He knows he'll get drunk, and he thinks if he's drunk I'll take advantage of him."

_But _won't_ you?_

"Yes, but that's beside the point."

_Well, before he kills you today, you should tell them that_ real_ Sakurazukamoris drink coffee and alchohol._

"I'm sure it will be very inspiring," Seishirou yawned as he finished the preparations and took a few sips of the result.

_Oh, and since I'll no longer be here when he inherits the Sakura, do tell him that although the government may not have a contract out for them, it's okay to kill the creepy men who will most likely hit on him. I did it all the time when I was Sakurazukamori._

"Yes, I know, mother."

_You'll tell him that?_

"If I remember."

_And also tell him what happens to the previous Sakurazukamori, okay? As I recall, I forgot to tell you that I'd always be inside your head before you killed me, and you kind of had a bad reaction to that._

"Yes, I know. But it might be amusing _not_ to tell him."

_Oh Seishirou! You've traumatized that boy enough already as it is! Give him a break and tell him that you'll always be with him before you die, okay? So he doesn't have a heartattack? You'll have plenty enough time for fun later._

"Oh fine."

_I'm really concerned about that boy. Promise you'll warn him about that?_

"Yes, yes. I'll tell him 'I will always be with you.' Will that please you?"

_You were always such a darling child._

Seishirou couldn't wait until he met Subaru at the Rainbow Bridge, because, sadly, the glory of being killed by the one he loved was second to the thought of escaping his mother.


	5. Five

**Title:** Five Things That Never Happened to Sakurazuka Setsuka  
**Author:** Elf Asato  
**Written:** 10/20/05  
**Summary:** Non-canon yet canon.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine whatsoever.  
**Notes:** Written for the "Five things that never happened to..." challenge on the Togakushishrine community at Livejournal. This is actually what made me write these drabbles for the challenge in the first place!

**Five Things That Never Happened to Sakurazuka Setsuka**  
Five  
_By Elf Asato_

  
Setsuka always thought it would be fun to have a knight in shining armor whisk her away. Instead of being outside and playing with the other children, she spent her childhood reading romances where the lead female was always seduced by an intriguing, larger-than-life man. As a result, her mind was always in a fairytale world where she was a princess instead of in reality; she failed to notice or care about her failing health. 

And, ironically, the one who entertained her fantasies the most was one responsible for maintaining this health.

It was because of this doctor that she was alive and on a fairytale-like ship, openly calling herself Princess Camellia after the flowers she loved so much. Everything was going so well in her world, and the only thing missing was a knight who would come to take her away.

And the first fateful day on the ship, she thought she met her knight.

Setsuka always thought she'd know what to do when love came to her, but, as she stood, staring at him, she found that she was clueless as to where to begin.

Introductions were always a start.

"Hello! I-I'm Princess Camellia," she said, excited and blushing. "What is your name?

Her knight who would take her away, a young man around her age with the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen, seemed a little started by her forwardness, but responded in turn.

"...Hisoka Kurosaki."

**Ending Notes:** This was a "crossover" with Yami no Matsuei. There was a girl in one of the arcs who went by "Tsubaki-hime" (Princess Camellia) and liked Hisoka. She's actually one of the most hated females in the series, but I still like her, haha.

**End**


End file.
